Grim Honesty

I believe that I should offer a bit of a warning about this post from the outset. Today hasn't been the best of days for me in an emotional sense. I'm going to write honestly about what has been going on in my head today. It won't be "G rated".

I woke up late and stayed in bed for most of the day, alternating between sleeping, watching a little television and eating too much. I felt incredibly unmotivated and just a little sleepy all day. As an aside, I am sick to death of eating too much. I've become a garbage disposal unit of late. It's becoming ridiculous.

I experienced rather dark thoughts today as well. To be brutally honest, thoughts of death were running through my mind on a rather consistent basis. They aren't "active" thoughts, so there is nothing to worry about in that respect. Perhaps the thoughts can be better described as "fantasies". For example, I know that my father owns a rifle or two. Today's thoughts revolved around visiting his place when the family was away and breaking into his gun safe. I will leave the ending of this "fantasy" up to the imagination.

So, that has been my day. I'm probably back to my emotionless state at the moment. I've got to organise Hubby's crib for his day shift tomorrow. After I have done that, I think it will be straight to bed for me.