Pounding the Pavement

Today saw my second day out pounding the pavement delivering census forms. I managed to deliver a whole 28 forms in around 2½ hours. Gawd, it's slow going!

After returning home from delivering, I sat down to work out just how many hours I will have to put in over the nine days that are left to deliver all the forms. It worked out, with an average of nine forms delivered per hour, to be 6 hours a day. Eek! How full on is that! I'm going to be busy, that's for sure and I've got to say, I am dreading it. Yuck!

The good news is that today wasn't as horrendous as yesterday. Things seemed to flow a little better and because I didn't leave the house to start delivering until 3:00pm, it wasn't as hot as yesterday when I delivered during what was essentially the middle of the day.

It looks like I will have to do a "split shift" when it comes to delivering the forms. I will have to go out for a couple of hours or so in the mornings, then return to the streets for a few hours in the afternoon. Hopefully, with quite a bit of pushing myself, I can get all of the forms delivered by the cut off date, which is Monday, 7 August.

At least now I know NOT to apply for a census collector's position next time around. Wish me luck!

Above photograph courtesy of stock.xchng.

Ouch! My Feet Hurt!

What on earth was I thinking? My feet hurt, my leg hurts (grrr ... I think the burns are infected), I'm dehydrated and I'm exhausted!

Today was my first day out delivering the 2006 census forms. After organising 100 forms last night thinking that I would easily be able to deliver that amount, I only delivered 24 today! The worst of it is that delivering those 24 took 2 hours! Ugh! This census stuff is going to be hard work. I've got just over a week to deliver what must be at least 500 forms. Eek!

What possessed me to say yes when I was offered a collector's position, I'll never know. It must have been a momentary lapse of reason, that or I had no idea it was going to take so long. I can only put my head down and bum up and work my guts out for the next week or so to get everything done on time. Help!

I've Been Hiding Something

Don't quote me on this one, but a few short weeks ago my pdoc off-handedly mentioned that I feel anger rather intensely and frequently (or something along those lines). At the time I remember thinking, "Great, I probably have a personality disorder or something on top of everything else. Gee, aren't I lucky!" Tonight, as I sit here burning again, I've got to wonder if the pdoc had something there (about feeling emotions "abnormally", not the personality disorder thing).

I've not long arrived home from an incredibly short social gathering, a free BBQ and public event organised by GBF as a part of his work. GBF had invited both Hubby and I, but only I went as Hubby did not want to go. Hubby whinged that I had not given him enough time to get ready and that he did not want to go out because "people sucked".

I couldn't stay any length of time at the social gathering. I felt really disappointed that Hubby had chosen not to attend. It felt like he and I never did anything together. I felt lonely in amongst the small crowd. I wandered off a little to have a cigarette and all that I could think about was how sad I felt, how much I felt like escaping and how much I felt like burning.

Anyway, the thing that I have been hiding from my blog through writing the type of posts I have lately is that I still feel like crap. I feel lost. I feel like nothing has changed since I was an adolescent. I'm still as lonely and still as non-worthy as I was then. I'm afraid that I have taken on too much with both the study and the job. I'm afraid that I will fall apart under the pressure and fail. I'm afraid that I will get overly stressed because Hubby is now on holidays for a month and he seems to constantly "joke" about how hungry he is (and that it is my responsibility to fix something for him to eat). His offhand comments on how he had managed to keep the kitchen clean when I was in hospital and how it is dirty again now I am responsible for cleaning it and further comments on what I should do over the coming days/week, grate tremendously on me. I feel like exploding, like kicking and screaming like a small child in the middle of a tantrum. Yet, it is impossible for me to get rid of these feelings without burning and without acting like a complete cranky bitch when Hubby approaches me.

Ugh! Tell me again how life is worth living.

Above photograph courtesy of stock.xchng.

Back to It

Today I re-entered the world of being a full-time student.

I haven't done any work on my TAFE certificate since I was admitted into hospital in early June. Thankfully, I subsequently received an extension for last term's work (the stuff that I didn't quite finish) up until the end of this current term. Today I decided to get a wriggle on and start studying for this term which officially started last Tuesday, but hey, better late than never.

I should have a relatively easy time with my TAFE study this term. Since I completed about half of my workload last term, I only have to work on three more modules to finish everything off by the end of term on 22 September. If I continue to steadily work on the remaining modules, I should have everything well and truly finalised by the cut off date. Better yet, I shouldn't have to rush so I can spend more time on getting things just how I like them. Cool!

Me? Employed? Eek!

Call me insane (oh, hang on ... I am! *smiles*) but I have joined the ranks of the employed again. I don't know what I was thinking considering the whole working thing and me hasn't been a happening thing over the past couple of years, but a couple of months ago I applied for a position as Census Collector for this year's nation-wide census. Last week, the Area Supervisor rang me and offered me a position. Yikes! I mean, yay! Eek! Whatever. I can't be certain.

So, as of next Friday I am officially employed again. A collector's position seems to be a hell of a lot of work for only a smallish financial gain but I guess it is money I wouldn't have otherwise. The whole census concept is somewhat interesting too ... being counted so the area in which you live has a chance of receiving necessary services ... the time capsule option where the information is archived for years and years and years, only to be opened up to family researchers and the like in the distant future. Then there is the personal challenge aspect of the job. If I am successful with it then perhaps I am not as useless as I think. It has the potential to be all good. *Cross fingers*

Anyway, bring on the census I say. If all else fails at least I will be a little fitter with all the walking door to door dropping census forms off to people.

I'm a Suburbanite!

I've joined the ranks of the average suburbanite. I now have an outdoor sitting area. Go me!

I've wanted one forever. Well, I wanted a pergola area forever, but that wasn't going to happen so I splurged on my little outdoor sitting area instead.

It's even got one of those green outdoor umbrellas which towers over my little two seater timber table and chairs set. It's so cool though. I bought a couple of really cool plants (see piccie to the left) and a peace inspiring Thai style Buddha statuette which is very similar in colour to my new plants.

I'm so happy. I've been sitting out there having cup after cup of coffee and cigarette after cigarette. It's so peaceful out there.

Now I just have buy more plants so I can make a little garden around it. I also have to buy a really groovy candle holder and candle too for night time sittings. I'm definitely going to visit Loot on my travels into the semi-big smoke on Wednesday. Loot is the best store for really cool little niknaks.

Anyway, I'm so happy! My gardens are almost complete. Now if I can just get Hubby to remove all his old crap in the backyard ...