Winter Storms and Darkness

I drove to the "semi big smoke" for my weekly pdoc appointment today. It's a four hour round trip ... gotta love it! The drive home was actually quite surreal. It was so dark, with no moon visible at all. It was like driving with tunnel vision, having to focus on just where my car's headlights were shining. For at least an hour and a half of my journey, I was travelling towards and then through an electrical storm. It was odd driving with all the lightening piercing the darkness around me. Luckily though, when it started to pour down with rain I neared the back of a road train. I was able to follow its tail lights throughout the duration of the downpour. Once the rain had stopped, the road train turned into a road house so I had the highway to myself again. How uncanny is that?

My pdoc appointment was really difficult. He asked me about a childhood memory I had referenced in an earlier post in this blog. It's such an insignificant memory in some respects, but it was incredibly painful to have to voice it. Gawd knows why. It seems so stupid. What is so hard about saying, "I remember such and such event when I was a kid." When? I've got no idea. What did you feel at the time? Buggered if I know. What happened? I truly haven't got a clue. It was just a random visual flash. Get over it.

For a short time I wondered if the pdoc was going to let me drive home. He gets all quiet and serious looking. It was a bit of a scary thought really. I've probably only been out of hospital this time around a month or so. I don't know if I really could have cared less if he hadn't let me walk out of his office though. It's hard to tell.

I felt rather freaky after I left the appointment and ended up having to phone a friend just so that I could ... ummm ... feel real again. Thanks Joey. You bought me back from wherever my brain was going.

Oh, my meds are getting upped again too. Yay.

Anyway, that was my day. I definitely won't be sad when this day comes to an end. It was my third wedding anniversary today too, so today's happenings kinda put a dampener on that, dammit. My hubby gave me the most wonderful gift to celebrate our anniversary too ... an angel worry box where you can play the music and shut all your cares away. How amazing is that!