Wednesday faded away and Thursday dawned. Thank gawd! I'm feeling better for it too. No more having to think about what I am feeling or how I am going.
It's funny how quickly mood states can change. Yesterday, when driving home from my pdoc appointment, I was eyeing off the road trains and taking notice of just about every place a car could run off the road. It's something that I do after nearly all of my appointments. The drive takes a couple of hours too. Sometimes it can be comforting knowing that I have an out if I choose to take it. Other times it can be downright scary when I catch myself doing it. Yesterday was one of the scary times.
However tonight I'm pretty much back to "normal" again. I'm not really feeling anything. I'm just here, sitting in front of the 'puter and that is about it. Nothing more. On occasions I get frustrated with this non-feeling state, but tonight I am going to revel in it. Sweet peace again!
I think about running my car off the road sometimes too. You're not alone in that urge. We are some of the strongest people out there, those of us who fight these mental illnesses every day. Hang in there!!
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