I'm firmly planted in my familiar Wednesday afternoon blues at the moment. I hate when I feel like this. Nothing seems worth it. I feel like giving in to what I have wanted to do for a long time. Gawd, it would be so much easier.
I drove into the semi-big smoke this morning to attend my pdoc appointment. Before the appointment, I decided to treat myself to a haircut so that I would look half-way decent for my job interview tomorrow. I think I have finally found a decent hairdresser in central Queensland. She did a good job.
However, I probably scheduled my hairdresser's appointment a little too close to my pdoc appointment time. By the time I made it to my pdoc's office I instantly started feeling a little, ummm, agitated I guess. My pdoc was running a few minutes late, but unfortunately I did not calm down any during my wait.
As I entered the room in which my pdoc sees his clients, it was like half of my mind flew out of my body and decided to stay in the waiting room. I was only half there again, unable to properly attend to what the pdoc was saying or offer much to the discussion.
Why the heck I do this regularly is beyond me. It's not like we discuss anything meaty during our appointments. Maybe I just suck at this therapy thing and it's not meant to make a difference for me.
Sometimes I just want it all to come to an end. It's not going to happen soon enough for me.
Wednesday, August 31, 2005
Tuesday, August 30, 2005
Eek! Crunch!
Oh no! The mice are planning their next invasion! Aargh!
My cat is the worst mouser ever! Earlier tonight, I was sitting in front of my laptop in the lounge room enjoying a freshly made cup of coffee. (Grrr at Hubby for not bringing back some more milk when he went out tonight!
). I heard the familiar thump of my cat entering the laundry window and landing on the washing machine. Suddenly, all hell broke loose! My napping dogs jumped to attention and raced into the kitchen chasing after the cat.
I leapt off the couch and bounded into the kitchen to see what was going on. I noticed the cat focusing all of his attention on a corner of the room. Gingerly, I moved the paper shredder that sits in the particular corner in question. (When the cat brings something into the house I always fear for the worst, e.g. a big scary spider waiting to jump out at me). Hiding behind the paper shredder was a terrified little mouse.
I consider mice to be incredibly cute little critters and all, but they have just caused way too many problems in my house during a previous invasion. Therefore, this mouse just had to be removed. I desperately tried to catch the little terrorist, but the rotten thing just ended up hiding underneath the nightie that I was wearing. Eeewwww! Being the slack mouser that he is, my cat had already lost interest. It was time to call in the big guns.
Cue the dogs!
Now my Husky is a very skilled and quick mouser, but this time it was my Aussie that won the prize. She deftly jumped into the battle zone, caught the mouse in no time flat, and retreated to the hallway with her prize. Good dog! The only problem was, before I could get the mouse off her, she started chowing down on it. Double eeewwww! The poor, poor mouse! What a way to go. Ick!
This whole episode means that there are still mice hanging around outside. Now I am just waiting for the little buggers to make their way inside again. Yuck! Maybe the war continues!
My cat is the worst mouser ever! Earlier tonight, I was sitting in front of my laptop in the lounge room enjoying a freshly made cup of coffee. (Grrr at Hubby for not bringing back some more milk when he went out tonight!
). I heard the familiar thump of my cat entering the laundry window and landing on the washing machine. Suddenly, all hell broke loose! My napping dogs jumped to attention and raced into the kitchen chasing after the cat.I leapt off the couch and bounded into the kitchen to see what was going on. I noticed the cat focusing all of his attention on a corner of the room. Gingerly, I moved the paper shredder that sits in the particular corner in question. (When the cat brings something into the house I always fear for the worst, e.g. a big scary spider waiting to jump out at me). Hiding behind the paper shredder was a terrified little mouse.
I consider mice to be incredibly cute little critters and all, but they have just caused way too many problems in my house during a previous invasion. Therefore, this mouse just had to be removed. I desperately tried to catch the little terrorist, but the rotten thing just ended up hiding underneath the nightie that I was wearing. Eeewwww! Being the slack mouser that he is, my cat had already lost interest. It was time to call in the big guns.
Cue the dogs!Now my Husky is a very skilled and quick mouser, but this time it was my Aussie that won the prize. She deftly jumped into the battle zone, caught the mouse in no time flat, and retreated to the hallway with her prize. Good dog! The only problem was, before I could get the mouse off her, she started chowing down on it. Double eeewwww! The poor, poor mouse! What a way to go. Ick!
This whole episode means that there are still mice hanging around outside. Now I am just waiting for the little buggers to make their way inside again. Yuck! Maybe the war continues!
Monday, August 29, 2005
Whinge Bitch Moan
Whilst today definitely doesn't rank up there with my favourite days ever, I guess it hasn't been all that bad. On the bright side, my old boss from the school rang today. She offered me an interview for the job which I applied for last week. Yay me! I got an interview! It's not until Thursday afternoon, so I may just treat myself to a trip to the hairdresser on Wednesday when I visit the semi-big smoke. 
Apart from the interview news, today has been quite average. My mood has definitely not been at its best. I visited my friend, Chris, for a cuppa and a chat this afternoon. During our conversation, I was saying how good I had been feeling of late. There is no doubt that I have improved no end, but I felt like the biggest fake in the world when I was saying those words to her. To be honest, I've felt really low today. I'm definitely in a "life sucks" frame of mind. Yuck!
To make matters worse, my wonderful chest pains are back tonight. I can't believe that reflux or indigestion, or whatever it is, can hurt so bloody much! I feel like crawling up into a ball. I've actually eaten quite well for me today too. I think the problem is that instead of smoking my usual 2mg cigarettes, I have been smoking Hubby's 4mg cigarettes. Damn! I have to get a packet of my usual cigarettes tomorrow. Oh, and maybe some Mylanta or something. Ouch, ouch, ouch and ouch! Is it wrong to wish emphysema or something similar on oneself? At least then I would know that I wouldn't have to put up with this crap for too much longer.
Really, if I sat back and looked at today properly, it's probably been an okay sort of day. I guess I am just in a foul mood and feeling really uncomfortable. Grrr! Tomorrow has to be better.
Apart from the interview news, today has been quite average. My mood has definitely not been at its best. I visited my friend, Chris, for a cuppa and a chat this afternoon. During our conversation, I was saying how good I had been feeling of late. There is no doubt that I have improved no end, but I felt like the biggest fake in the world when I was saying those words to her. To be honest, I've felt really low today. I'm definitely in a "life sucks" frame of mind. Yuck!
To make matters worse, my wonderful chest pains are back tonight. I can't believe that reflux or indigestion, or whatever it is, can hurt so bloody much! I feel like crawling up into a ball. I've actually eaten quite well for me today too. I think the problem is that instead of smoking my usual 2mg cigarettes, I have been smoking Hubby's 4mg cigarettes. Damn! I have to get a packet of my usual cigarettes tomorrow. Oh, and maybe some Mylanta or something. Ouch, ouch, ouch and ouch! Is it wrong to wish emphysema or something similar on oneself? At least then I would know that I wouldn't have to put up with this crap for too much longer.
Really, if I sat back and looked at today properly, it's probably been an okay sort of day. I guess I am just in a foul mood and feeling really uncomfortable. Grrr! Tomorrow has to be better.
What Is With Some People?
I'm not into political blogs at all. Personally, I find them as dull as dishwater. I'd much rather read about the everyday lives of people. However, once in a blue moon I see something on the nightly news on TV that just makes me want to slap someone. Tonight was one of those nights.Two Liberal party MP's, Bronwyn Bishop and Sophie Panopoulus are pushing to ban Muslim girls from wearing headscarves in public schools. Apparently Ms Bishop describes the wearing of the hijab as an "iconic act of defiance". Here is a link to a short news story regarding this issue.
I must admit that I am largely ignorant of Muslim culture, but personally I think these two MP's are being ridiculous. As far as I know, the wearing of the hijab holds great religious significance to these girls. I guess it is like an expression of their faith. How dare these two women seek to ban these girls from wearing what means so much to them!
I thought Australia promoted itself as a multicultural country. If these two women represent a good part of the Australian community, then we have a lot to learn. Grrr!
Photo taken from the Reflections website.
Sunday, August 28, 2005
Online Chat
I was chatting to an Internet bud tonight. A short time into our chat, our conversation took on a slightly more serious slant. We began talking about what we thought life was about. He shared his thoughts about life being about love and happiness. What a wonderful point of view! I however, found myself slipping into sharing with him what have been my thoughts about life for a while now. I saw myself typing out the words, "Life is breathing; existing; learning perhaps to read more into life so that it is worth continuing to live." His concluding remark to the end of this part of our conversation was, "Because if nothing makes you happy, what is the point of being alive?" That's a very good point, and one that I still cannot answer.
We then continued our conversation with what made us happy. My Internet bud typed out an impressive list, including such things as:
When it was my turn to list the things that made me happy, I was stumped. I couldn't think of anything that bought me happiness. My Internet bud suggested my dogs. Well, that is true I guess. My dogs do bring me joy at times. However, I continued to struggle to add things to my list. He went on to suggest a few other things, but none of his suggestions held any appeal.
Even now, as I type this post, I find it very difficult to expand on my "happiness list". Perhaps I could add chatting with friends to the list. I guess I could also add the times when Hubby gets that cute look on his face. I don't know if any of these things bring me true happiness though. What is happiness anyway?
To continue on with this thought, what is life all about anyway? It's wonderful that people can look at the meaning of life, so to speak, and come up with words like happiness and love. It just seems that when people come up with words like that, that they are falling into the trap of reading too much into life. When all things are said and done, life is only existence.
We then continued our conversation with what made us happy. My Internet bud typed out an impressive list, including such things as:
- the beach
- a sunny day
- watching kids play and laugh
- hearing that someone has done something good
- accomplishing something
When it was my turn to list the things that made me happy, I was stumped. I couldn't think of anything that bought me happiness. My Internet bud suggested my dogs. Well, that is true I guess. My dogs do bring me joy at times. However, I continued to struggle to add things to my list. He went on to suggest a few other things, but none of his suggestions held any appeal.
Even now, as I type this post, I find it very difficult to expand on my "happiness list". Perhaps I could add chatting with friends to the list. I guess I could also add the times when Hubby gets that cute look on his face. I don't know if any of these things bring me true happiness though. What is happiness anyway?
To continue on with this thought, what is life all about anyway? It's wonderful that people can look at the meaning of life, so to speak, and come up with words like happiness and love. It just seems that when people come up with words like that, that they are falling into the trap of reading too much into life. When all things are said and done, life is only existence.
Another Ultra Boring Update Post
It's time for another one of my ultra boring update posts. Feel free to scroll down to my cute tea drinking Husky pic instead.
I'm sitting here watching the end of the movie, "Terminator 2: Judgment Day", on TV. I love all of the Terminator movies, but this one is probably my favourite out of the three. They are all full of action though, and are sort of sad whilst remaining hopeful. It's a great trilogy.
Anyway, that was just a bit of an aside. On to the real post.
Firstly, I ended up finishing the job application I was working on with no further worries. I even submitted it with hours to spare to the deadline.
Gawd, it was good to finally get it finished. What a drama! I'm fairly certain I will get an interview out of it, so I'll see how I go.
It was kind of weird going to the school to submit the application though. Up until then, I had been feeling quite good that day. Whilst my quick visit to the school was fine (I even had a quick chat with one of the admin assistants that worked there when I was there), just being there was sort of strange. I guess it just brought back mixed feelings about what happened last year. I know that it is nothing to worry about. It's just me being a little silly, but my mood dipped down after my visit to the school.
Since I finished the job application, I haven't really been up to much. I was a bit naughty on Thursday night because I didn't take my normal Seroquel dose. I needed to be able to stay awake that night to finish the application. Consequently, I've had a bit of sleep to catch up with. I snored my head off all Friday night until late this morning, then I turned around and had a few hours snooze time this afternoon.
Anyway, time for me to do the pill taking thing and start thinking about catching some more snooze time. It's getting pretty late. Looks like I will be sleeping most of tomorrow away too. Aah, what a life!
I'm sitting here watching the end of the movie, "Terminator 2: Judgment Day", on TV. I love all of the Terminator movies, but this one is probably my favourite out of the three. They are all full of action though, and are sort of sad whilst remaining hopeful. It's a great trilogy.
Anyway, that was just a bit of an aside. On to the real post.
Firstly, I ended up finishing the job application I was working on with no further worries. I even submitted it with hours to spare to the deadline.
Gawd, it was good to finally get it finished. What a drama! I'm fairly certain I will get an interview out of it, so I'll see how I go.It was kind of weird going to the school to submit the application though. Up until then, I had been feeling quite good that day. Whilst my quick visit to the school was fine (I even had a quick chat with one of the admin assistants that worked there when I was there), just being there was sort of strange. I guess it just brought back mixed feelings about what happened last year. I know that it is nothing to worry about. It's just me being a little silly, but my mood dipped down after my visit to the school.
Since I finished the job application, I haven't really been up to much. I was a bit naughty on Thursday night because I didn't take my normal Seroquel dose. I needed to be able to stay awake that night to finish the application. Consequently, I've had a bit of sleep to catch up with. I snored my head off all Friday night until late this morning, then I turned around and had a few hours snooze time this afternoon.
Anyway, time for me to do the pill taking thing and start thinking about catching some more snooze time. It's getting pretty late. Looks like I will be sleeping most of tomorrow away too. Aah, what a life!
Saturday, August 27, 2005
Oops!
As promised, here is a piccie of the aftermath to the "Tea Drinking Husky" episode ...This is what happens at my house when I decide to take a photo of my Husky being cute, when instead I should have said, "Oh naughty dog. Don't drink my cup of tea." Oops!
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