A New Obsession?

I think I am becoming obsessed with taking photos. I mean, I love my camera. I really do! It's the best piece of technology Hubby has ever bought for us. Err, actually I mean for me. Bugger him! *stifles a giggle*

Since I posted a snapshot of my Saturday morning yesterday, I thought I would continue the theme and post a snapshot of my Sunday morning as well. So here it is! A snapshot of a Sunday morning in the Disso household.

The furry kids definitely rule here. They get to take up the whole couch while I'm sitting on a pillow on the floor. What's with that?!

Couch hogs!

Nikita

Shakara

Oh well! No one could ever accuse me of not looking after the furries I guess. That's a good thing, right?

Saturday Mornings

Ugh! Saturday mornings! Just poor me another cup of coffee. Please!

Courtesy of South Park Studio

Have Camera, Will Shoot

What a day! I'm completely stuffed! GBF and I spent the afternoon driving around a little central Queensland town called Bluff in the 40 degree (celsius) heat. There was a method to our madness though. We were after more photographs. I think GBF really likes to commandeer my camera and go off on these little photography jaunts. Not that I mind at all. I enjoy it too. But, oh my god it was hot today. I even have the headache to prove it. Ouch!

Photo No. 1: This little house was quite cute. It's such a typical old Queenslander style home, complete with a wrecked truck in the yard.

Photo No. 2: Another Bluff "house" and I use that term loosely. What a contrast to the Queenslander style home!

Photo No. 3: Err, a photo of a dead tree! GBF took this photo, which is just as well because I didn't even notice the tree's presence until I saw the photo. I think it looks pretty cool though.

Photo No. 4: We discovered a small, reed filled dam in the middle of the Bluff horse racing track. The track is essentially unused so we were amazed to find this little dam.

Photo No. 5: Mmm, I wonder who this crazy looking man is? *stifles a giggle* I couldn't resist taking a photo of the photo and somehow that crazy character managed to talk his way into the shot.

Photo No. 6: What can I say about this critter other than it was huge and scary and I am incredibly thankful that my camera sports a 12x optical zoom. *shudders*

Photo No. 7: Okay, this photo is a bit of a ring in because we didn't actually take it today. We snapped this one off about a week ago during our photography trip to the local cemetery and beyond. The sky was so spectacular that afternoon though, so I thought this photo deserved a place amongst the others.

On a more serious note, I'm still not feeling all that flash although getting out of the house today was probably a godsend. Apart from being tired, having a funky throat and nursing a bit of a headache, I'm still feeling pretty blah. Throughout the day, I've remained acutely aware of last night's little internal struggle. I think I should just give up on myself. I can have a fun filled day, yet these stupid thoughts still invade my head. I'm even toying with the idea of keeping myself occupied for the first part of this year by doing a simple TAFE certificate in website design. I'm sure to enjoy learning what I can through the certificate, but I am still filled with this sense of despondency.

Mutant Mouth

Yuck! I've a mutant mouth! I woke up this morning to a swollen throat. It's spongy to touch and it's uncomfortable to swallow. When I look into the mirror there appears to be no space between my tongue and the back of my throat. Ick! Eek! Foul! Gross! What the heck have I eaten?

The funny thing is, I think I somehow incorporated the swollen throat into a dream last night. My dream featured Morgan Freeman of all people. He played the father figure while I played the child. The child was ill. She had trouble breathing. The father tried to get medical help for the child but because the family was poor no help was forthcoming. Instead, and here is the gross part, the father gave his own blood to the child. Apparently the father was on some sort of medication himself and he thought that by giving the child a dose of his blood every day, his medicated blood would make the child well again.

What a strange, strange dream! Oh, and here's to a day of uncomfortable swallowing and spongy throats!

Yesterday and Today

This is going to be one of those posts where I don't have a lot to say, yet continue to ramble on for ages. However you wish to describe it, my current emotional state or state of being is, well, rather non-existent. I guess I am a little bit numb or empty at the moment. The world around me is sort of just there and nothing more, if that makes any sense at all.

Today, I found myself forcing out some semblance of a half-interesting personality through all of my dealings with people. To be honest, I hardly dealt with anybody at all, just Hubby when he woke up to go to work this afternoon and a couple of phone calls from people I know. I suppose when you are only just there, one has to pretend so as not to show the empty shell that truly exists. Then again, if one has the ability to fake it through interpersonal contacts then things can't be all that bad. It is only truly bad when one doesn't have the energy to pretend.

Yesterday saw my first pdoc appointment for 2006. Again, I've not much to report about this appointment other than I went, spent a great deal of time wondering what the pdoc was thinking, and sat there with not much to say. I did occasionally make myself voice the odd thought that ran through my head, however even that was a bit of a chore.

There were a couple of things that stood out for me during the appointment however. First, I think my pdoc wanted me to commit to continuing therapy appointments this year. I've no trouble with that. I look at these appointments as a bit of a lifeline and I am somewhat interested to see what, if anything comes out of them. In short, I guess they offer a slim hope that life may at some stage be worth something. Second, my pdoc wishes me to continue with the journaling and documenting any dreams that I have. Again, I have no issue with that. This blog seems to be the only way I can communicate what is happening within me. As for the dreams, I am still slightly amused that they play some sort of role in psychiatry, but I guess you live and learn.

Finally, I had the opportunity to visit the beach yesterday. GBF accompanied me on my trip into the semi big smoke yesterday for my pdoc appointment. After my appointment we decided to drive the extra half hour to the coast just to see the ocean. Seeing, touching and even just feeling the sea breeze is something special when one lives inland. It was already dusk by the time we arrived hence the one poor quality photo I managed to take. However, instead of our visit being refreshing like it was supposed to be, it elicited a sense of sadness from us both. We briefly discussed this phenomenon on the drive home but I don't think we reached a decision as to why we both felt that way. Perhaps for me, it's about a sense of loss of something that I might have once had but now proves elusive.

I experienced the strongest desire for a long, long time to continue taking pills when taking meds tonight.

Numerology and Other Stuff

Isn't it fun when you are at a shopping centre with someone and all of a sudden the feeling comes over you that you have to get out of there right this very second? Isn't it even more fun when you can't tell your companion what is happening inside of you for fear of sounding completely mad? Instead you sit through a quick meal at the cafe, all the while thinking you are going to space out completely if you don't get your ass out of the joint. Okay, well maybe "fun" isn't the word I'm searching for here. Maybe I should substitute it for shithouse. Whatever word you choose to use in this situation, it still sucks. End of story. *Cracks open another Vodka Mudslide*

I realised the other day that for me 2006 is a nine year. Now, I don't know much about numerology, but I am aware that a nine personal year is pretty special. It's all about the ending of a cycle, letting go of the old and allowing the new to manifest in one's life. Given how I am feeling at the moment, that sounds reasonably alluring.

As a consequence, I decided to search the internet for information regarding nine personal years. I googled until I could google no more, and found a nice little summary of what a nine year can bring into one's life from the Truth Star website. Here's what the website had to say:

The influence for this year is about completion and endings. It can pose as a time of emotional disruption. Now is the time to finalise, complete and to leave behind that which no longer serves a purpose in your life, which has had an effect on your life during the past eight years. That which is no longer serving it’s purpose in your life, such as relationships, attitudes, thoughts and career, should come to a conclusion. If they no longer serve a purpose in your life, the universe will take care of it if you don’t. Now is the time to take stock, to clean out the internal and external closets. Continue only with tasks and experiences, including relationships, which still have benefit and promise for the future. It is wise not to start anything new during this vibration, such as a new career or relationship, as it may not last. Any left over residual will continue into the start of the next nine year cycle. Be prepared for emotional disharmony and expect sudden and abrupt endings in relationships, moving house or the ending of a career. Look at this year with the attitude to have a good ‘spring clean’ in every area of your life. Out with the old in preparation to commence with the new.

Isn't that interesting. It sounds like 2006 could very well be a "fun" year. As Joey wrote on her space, "But... shit mate, 2006 is at least an even year. I mean, how odd can it be when its even?"

Churn That Tummy!

Ugh! I am such a city girl at heart even if I have been transplanted into this coal mining hell town for the past eight years.

One of Hubby's work mates turned up on our door step with a rabbit on Saturday. No, not a fluffy, long-eared cutie to keep as a pet (it's illegal to keep rabbits as pets in Queensland anyway), but a dead, skinned rabbit for cooking.

Yuck! Chunder! How the heck am I going to cook poor little bugs? Despite it being dead and all, it still resembles a rabbit. I prefer my meat unrecognisable thanks. *shudder*

I've pleaded with Hubby to cook the rabbit himself. After all, it was Hubby that mentioned to his work mate how much he would like to chow down on a bunny. I knew nothing about the plan they were hatching until the work mate turned up with the poor little critter. It's a no go though. Hubby expects me to cook it. Yikes! My tummy is churning just thinking about it.

Being the good, little wifey that I am (*chokes*), I have scoured the Internet for possible recipes. I found a sauteed rabbit recipe that I might be able to pull off. God save me! How am I going to withhold the vomiting when I make the first cut? If I know one thing for sure, I'm not going to eat it.

Bugs image from: http://www.keyattraction.co.uk/shop/3/