Total Smoking Ban in Cars?

Now it is getting ridiculous!

I should say from the outset that I am a smoker.

Okay, I agree with the whole no smoking around children thing. It's irresponsible and endangers children's health, so don't do it! What concerns me regarding the following news report is that some of the wording is not entirely centred on the issue of smoking around children. For example, "Health Minister John Hatzistergos said the government would support a parliamentary inquiry assessing a private member's bill proposing a complete ban on smoking in cars."

Oh, come on! If I want to slowly commit suicide by smoking in my own car then that is my problem, not anybody else's. As the article continues on to say there is no research that suggests that banning people from smoking in their own cars reduces road accidents.

Recently Australian governments have introduced laws which prohibit smoking within four metres of a doorway to public buildings, ten metres from a children's playground and other laws which centre around restaurants and pubs. I have a proposal though. If the governments in Australia are so concerned about how smoking negatively impacts on their citizens' health, how about a total ban on smoking anywhere? Let's prohibit the sale of cigarettes and tobacco completely. Despite being a smoker myself, I would actually welcome that.

Oh, hang on. There is one huge problem when it comes to a total prohibition on tobacco and cigarettes. The almighty tax dollar! Let's face it, governments rake in a lot of money through taxes placed on tobacco and cigarettes. Maybe they don't want to totally ban the sale of such products because it is a massive revenue booster.

Am I being too cynical here?

NSW govt to look at smoking ban in cars
Tuesday Feb 28 00:15 AEDT
http://news.ninemsn.com.au/article.aspx?id=64589

The NSW government supports a ban on smoking in cars containing children and says it will look at the issue when parliament resumes next week.

Health Minister John Hatzistergos said the government would support a parliamentary inquiry assessing a private member's bill proposing a complete ban on smoking in cars.

The bill was put forward by Christian Democratic party MP Fred Nile.

Mr Hatzistergos said the health department and non-government partners had run a campaign to stop parents smoking around young children in cars as well as at home, but the issue needed more public discussion.

"Most adults are responsible when it comes to their child's health but the few that smoke with children in the car are placing their child at considerable risk from passive smoking," Mr Hatzistergos said in a statement.

"I encourage open public debate on the issue and will look forward to the findings of the parliamentary inquiry."

Mr Hatzistergos pointed to World Health Organisation research that found children were particularly at risk from second-hand smoke because they were still developing and breathed faster than adults.

He said similar proposals to ban smoking in cars with children had been rejected in America and German for privacy reasons and because there was no evidence it reduced road accidents.

The ban was just one of several tobacco issues to be considered when parliament resumed, Mr Hatzistergos said.

Thinking Out Loud

Mmmm ... maybe I am not so much thinking out loud as thinking in type. Oh well, it sounded like a good idea for a post title anyway.

In short, I feel like death this afternoon. Something clicked in my head a few hours ago, opening the floodgates wide and allowing the depressive thoughts to roll on in. Ugh! Why does this sort of crap happen? I wasn't thinking negatively at the time or anything. I had just finished working on my TAFE assignment and then bang, it happened.

During my aimless wandering around the Internet, trying to keep the sadness at bay, I visited a bookmarked employment website for the first time in ages. While browsing the available jobs, one of them caught my eye. The particular position is part of a community visitor program for children in some form of out-of-home care. Employment is only on a casual basis too.

Through the gloom which has descended on my head, I must admit that the position sounds somewhat interesting. To begin with, it is only casual. Surely I can keep up with casual employment and it wouldn't interrupt my current studies. This sort of position is what I trained for too, although admittedly many years ago now. Through my past work at the school, I know that I like working with kids. Also on the bright side is that it pays thirty bucks an hour plus expenses. That is definitely nothing to be sneezed at. Hubby and I could use the extra cash now and then.

There is a down side however and unfortunately it is all about me. I don't feel strong enough. I suck at being employed ... always have. I doubt my ability to do ... well, any job really. Gawd, I could go on forever but it is just too overwhelming.

Maybe I shouldn't think about it and just try writing up an application. It has to be down in Brissie by Monday so I only have a couple of days in which to write the thing. Chances are I wouldn't get a look in anyway, so what's it gonna hurt, sending off an application.

I'm Obsessed

Today was a day where time just seemed to fly. I was completely obsessed with working on the website templates for my TAFE assignment. I spent the vast majority of my waking hours working on the assignment. I've now finished my third template and although it is just a basic, table-based design, I am really quite happy with it. The plan for tomorrow is to fine tune the other two templates and then get stuck into the not-so-pleasant report task.

Another Seemingly Dull Day

On a surface level, I guess today was a fairly dull day. Although after a morning hiccup, I did get quite a bit done. However it was all work and no play for me today.

This morning I woke up with a massive Seroquel hangover. I don't really know why. Although I took last night's meds a little later than usual, I did sleep in until about 10am or so. When I woke up and stumbled outside to let the furries out for their morning "wee walk", the familiar surrealness was definitely upon me. The sky was weird. I was moving through jelly. It was not a comfortable experience.

In order to break out of the surrealness, I tried eating some breakfast and having a cup of coffee. It didn't help though. I ended up going back to bed and lazing around watching TV for a while.

Sometime after lunch time, I decided to have another go at the whole "let's start the day" thing. This time I was successful. I spent quite a few hours working on my TAFE certificate. I got quite a bit done too. I created two out of the three website templates that are required for my next piece of assessment. I'm even a little more organised when it comes to the report that has to be submitted along with the templates. I've only just decided that it was time to quit for the night.

So that was my day. I know I titled this post with the words "dull day", but I don't view working on my TAFE certificate as particularly dull. I quite like it. I like creating and learning about website design.

This and That

In amongst organising the dogs' dinner, hanging out the washing and doing the dishes, I have been watching the Winter Olympics women's figure skating finals. I'm mesmerised! These women are graceful, athletic and incredibly amazing. My favourite skater so far has been Shizuka Arakawa from Japan. Her program was just lovely and beautifully skated. (Oh wow! Shizuka just won the gold.) I've always much preferred the Winter Olympics over the summer ones. In fact, I can miss the Summer Olympics entirely and not bat an eyelid, but it is always nice to catch a little bit of the Winter Olympics on TV.

My interest in the figure skating aside, today has been an exceedingly average day in terms of my mood. I might just be tired though. I'm not sure. I had a late one last night, which was cool because I got to chat to a mate on the phone for ages. It had been a while since we had spoken as I am the slackest person in the world when it comes to picking up the damn phone.

Despite the late night, I woke up early to drive Kara over to the vets in the small smoke for her last injection. That was the last injection in the course and she has certainly improved. Apparently the coolness of winter can have a negative effect on dogs with osteoarthritis, so we just have to keep an eye on her when the weather finally starts to cool down to see if she would benefit from any further injections.

After returning home from the small smoke and eating a huge lunch, I ended up falling asleep for several hours this afternoon. I finally awoke early this evening feeling like death warmed up which I guess hasn't helped the mood situation at all.

So, what can one do when they are feeling quite bleh? Go to bed, sleep and hopefully wake up to increased brightest tomorrow. That is exactly what I plan to do now.

Colourful Spider

I decided to cross post this entry from my Photographic Journeys blog because I sort of surprised myself by writing what I did about the spider image. Taking an interest in my surroundings? Who would have thought!

I need to sit down and write about what happened during my pdoc appointment today. It's getting quite late though and I'm still mulling things over, so I will endeavour to make sense of everything tomorrow.


I find it amazing how this new found photography obsession of mine is slowly teaching me to take a closer look at my surroundings. Before, I wouldn't have seen this little spider in amongst the bushes and by chance I did, I would have given it a very wide berth. Today I noticed it and immediately took my camera out of the carry case. I held the camera lens literally centimetres from the scary arachnid, marvelling at its beauty. Mind you, I did compromise a little. By looking at my camera's LCD screen rather than peering through the viewfinder, I was still able to keep a little bit of a distance. Arachnophobia still lives. :)

Yikes! Embarrassment!

Gawd! The things that happen!

A short time ago, I was sitting in front of the computer engaged in research for my next TAFE assignment when I heard someone mucking around in the carport. I then heard the electricity meter box open. "No problems," I thought to myself. "It must be an Ergon Energy employee who had come to read the meter for the next bill cycle." The noise continued however.

By this stage, I was becoming suspicious about what was going on. I got up from my spot in front of the computer and made my way into the kitchen. Through the window, I noticed a car parked outside the house. Then I saw a woman walk out of the carport, round to the front of the house, stand in front of the house looking back at it and then disappear back into the carport. What was going on? Ergon Energy meter readers take a minute to peer inside the meter box, record what they need to and then they are on their way.

Still dressed in my nightie and over shirt, I ventured out to the back landing to investigate what was going on. Sure enough, there was a woman standing in the carport with her head in the electricity meter box. I asked if she was a meter reader. She replied that she was not a meter reader, but was there to disconnect our electricity supply.

What!?!

The woman showed me her work order which stated that Hubby and I owed over $700 to Ergon Energy because the last bill had gone unpaid. Eek!

When I paid the household bills last week, I had noticed an old Ergon Energy late payment notice. Because it was a couple of months old, I had even tried to call the accounts information phone number at the top of the bill to ensure that I had already paid the account in full. Unfortunately though, in this age of automated phone systems, I had not been able to work out what number I had to press to get an account balance or, failing that, how to talk to an actual person. Consequently, I threw the late notice in the filing cabinet in amongst the other paid bills, assuming that because it was so old, I had already paid it. Apparently, that was a mistake.

The woman from Ergon Energy told me that I had about twenty minutes to pay the outstanding fee and to organise reconnection of the electricity before she left town. I raced into the computer room where our main telephone is, removed my sleeping husband's carcass from the chair, fended off the cries from my now awake, pissed off husband about what was going on and hurriedly set about paying the outstanding account and calling Ergon Energy.

Luckily I acted quickly enough. The woman from Ergon Energy returned to reconnect our electricity supply about fifteen minutes after she had initially disconnected it. Phew! Crisis aborted!

Despite the whole situation being pretty damn funny, in all honesty, I'm actually quite upset. I find myself thinking that I'm not even able to smoothly run a household, that I didn't try hard enough to contact Ergon Energy when I paid the bills last, and that I am generally hopeless. Grrr at the internal dialogue! How destructive is that!

Mind you, if I try to look at the situation in a more objective manner, it's just "one of those things". Yes, I neglected to pay the initial bill, however Ergon Energy screwed up as well. Obviously their automated phone system could be more user friendly. The Ergon Energy telephone customer service officer whom I spoke to regarding reconnecting the electricity supply told me that the company usually contacts customers via telephone a couple of days prior to electricity supplies being physically disconnected. They definitely did not contact us.

So, I guess the moral to my little story is to try to think of the situation objectively. However in-grained and difficult to ignore that destructive internal dialogue is, ignore it! I'm not labelling it as destructive for no reason!

Mmmm!

Did the Beach Thing

I did the beach thing yesterday. Yesterday's plan was to hop in the car, with GBF in tow for company, and drive somewhere for a photography expedition. When GBF and I were discussing possible destinations, the heat of the day was already upon us, so we decided to head to the coast in search of a cooling sea breeze. I only took a handful of photos during our trip, which was far less than I would have liked, but things like eating, resting and shopping kind of got in the way of photo taking. Not to mind. I may head back to the same spot this coming Wednesday morning as I now have some ideas on the images I would like to capture.

As for today, I spent the vast majority of it working on my TAFE certificate. I finalised my second piece of assessment and submitted it. I then did some base work on my third piece of assessment. This third assessment piece is quite a bit more involved than the initial two pieces. It involves firstly writing a report comparing two web authoring systems which offer graphical templates and secondly designing three website templates for a fictitious client. It should prove to be quite challenging and fun.

That's it for me tonight. I'm off to bed early.

Been Sleeping

*Yawns*

Ugh! I've wasted the last couple of days by sleeping through them (not that that is a bad thing, mind you). That's what you get when you don't take those little yellow pills until after midnight. Oops!

This morning I woke up from the silliest dream. I wish I had noted the details down upon waking because I think it was a doozy. Unfortunately I can't remember what happened now. Basically though, it featured an ex of mine. I haven't seen or spoken with the man for many years, so goodness knows why he would suddenly pop up in a dream. I think the dream may have been set back quite a few years ago too because, if I am not mistaken, I was still living down in Brissie with my family (eek!). Mind you, I think it was just the thought of the ex that featured in the dream. Despite going to great efforts to meet, I think we eventually missed each other. Awww!

Pushing my dream life aside to get back to my real life, there isn't a whole lot to tell considering the whole sleep thing over the past couple of days. Last night, GBF visited for a few hours. We had a few drinks and talked our usual shit. Today my boredom factor was rather high so I decided to break out the camera and play around with taking photos of candles and drinking glasses. For the first time ever, I experimented with my camera's manual setting, with the above image being the result. There's also another, better image over on my Photographic Journeys blog.

Mmmm ... what else? I received an email from the TAFE tutor regarding my first assessment piece. According to his email, my piece was spot on. There was no mark given though, which I find a tad frustrating. I guess that must be a TAFE thing though, so I will have to get used to it. I finished my second assessment piece a couple of days ago. Within the next couple of days I will do a final check of the coding and submit it for review.

Well, that is all my news. I'm considering going on one of my photography expeditions tomorrow, so I will have to be a good girl and take those little yellow pills on time tonight so I can actually experience daylight tomorrow.

The Perfect Man

Thanks Joey. ;)

The perfect man is gentle
Never cruel or mean
He has a beautiful smile
And keeps his face so clean.

The perfect man likes children
And will raise them by your side
He will be a good father
As well as a good husband to his bride.

The perfect man loves cooking
Cleaning and vacuuming too
He'll do anything in his power
To convey his feelings of love for you.

The perfect man is sweet
Writing poetry from your name
He's a best friend to your mother
And kisses away your pain.

He has never made you cry
Or hurt you in any way
Oh, screw this stupid poem
The perfect man is gay!

Photo courtesy of stock.xchng

One Woman's Rant

I despise traditional relationships and the scary thing is, I'm living in one. It makes me feel devalued. He makes me feel like a servant in my own home. But wait! It's not my home, it is his.

He has been on days off since finishing his last night shift on Monday morning. When I took the car over to the small smoke on Tuesday for a service, he stated that he did not want to accompany me because he was too tired.

A few nights ago, I cooked a simple dinner of steak and vegetables. I must admit that I overcooked the steak somewhat. His dinner sat in the fridge for the first night, and then the second night. It was only on Wednesday night when I did not return from the semi big smoke with copious amounts of junk food for him that he decided to eat the dinner that was waiting for him in the fridge. I guess he decided to be sociable while eating his dinner because he sat in the lounge room to eat it. Usually he just eats in front of the computer or in bed. After spending a couple of minutes sampling the food on his plate, he turns to me and proclaims that he can no longer eat this shit. Lovely!

This morning I had to take Kara over to the vet in the small smoke for the third injection out of a series of four. There was no question that he would stay home with our other dog. I arrive home after the two hour round trip to him being disappointed that I did not come home with junk food from KFC or McDonald's. I was in and out of the vet's in fifteen minutes. Was I supposed to leave Kara locked in the car while I ran around after him? Leaving a dog in a car in the central Queensland summer heat is not something someone would do unless they wanted to have a dead dog on their hands.

He went to sleep just prior to midday today after spending countless hours locked away in the computer room playing "Guild Wars" online. On retiring, he stated that he wanted Red Rooster at 1:00pm. He didn't ask. He demanded.

After spending several hours studying, I decided to do some vacuuming. He woke up when I was taking a break from it and asks if I de-furred the couch. He then asked if I did "his room" (aka the computer room) and if I planned to do the bedroom as well. He was sleeping in the bedroom for goodness sake. I was going to sit down with a cup of coffee and rest for a short while before waking him up to vacuum that end of the house.

A long time ago, I gave up trying to discuss any issues with him. When I had tried to do so in the past, instead of listening, he became defensive and instantly threw something that annoyed him about me in my face. Now, if I say or do something that annoys him, he rolls his eyes and walks away.

When I sit down and write a post such as this one, I feel useless and hopeless. Useless, because I should be able to engage in the whole effective communication thing but am stupidly unable to do so. Hopeless because ... well ... thoughts about ending it all run through my head.

It's times like these when I feel lost. It seems to be a vicious cycle. I start feeling good. Suddenly these types of issue come to the foreground again. Because I start thinking about this sort of stuff, I start to feel bad again. When does this merry-go-round stop to let me off?

Thinking About Today

I attended my pdoc appointment today, as is the norm for Wednesdays.

* Sits. Thinks. Drums fingers on keyboard. *

Umm. What did we talk about?

I think the pdoc tried to engage in some sort of analysis of my "Life Is" post from last Wednesday, i.e. what the pictures meant and the like. We also spoke about my outing to the football match last Saturday. He stated that social contact seems to ground me, or words to that effect. He asked me about the dark thoughts which I referred to during last Friday's post. I kind of blew off the question though. I guess I should have tried to answer the question better than I did.

Err, gawd, I don't know. I guess we just sort of went through my previous week's blog posts on a day by day basis.

On the whole, today was a pretty good day I guess. GBF's mother accompanied me on my drive into the semi big smoke. My goodness that woman can talk! On the way in, all that I had to do was to offer the occasional minimal response and the conversation kept flowing. During the drive home, I found myself contributing to the conversation more. I actually thought to myself at one stage, "Hey, I'm conversing here! Imagine that!" I think I surprised myself.

I think I also discovered why I started taking the camera in with me, rather than spending the time browsing through shopping centres. If I enter the shopping centres, I spend money on stuff I don't need. Well, I did buy an iron today which I did need. My old one died on me last week. However, I also bought a set of four incredibly groovy glasses. Now the last thing I need is more glasses. I have a cupboard full of them. These glasses were too cool to go past though. Mmmm. Maybe they constitute a photo opportunity. I'll have to try that tomorrow.

Enough from me tonight. I feel like I am writing a disjointed blob of gobbledygook here. It must be time to think about going to bed.

Things That Make You Go ...

Mmmmm!

I had to drive over to the small smoke again today, this time to get the car serviced. To be honest, I'm getting a little sick of the place. Lately it feels like I'm forever in the car, headed in that direction. It isn't such a bad place really. It's just that there is not a lot to do in a small town with no transportation. The age-old transportation method of walking is not particularly pleasant in 36 degree heat either.

Despite the heat, I did do a lot of walking today, with camera in hand of course. At one end of town is a visitors' park, complete with a giant Van Gogh sunflower painting. According to the little plaque at its base, it is the largest painting on an easel in the world.

I have to wonder who originally thought of the idea of erecting a humungous painting on an easel in the middle of a park. It seems like such a bizarre concept to me. Did some bloke mention it as a joke during a town council meeting when the topic of tourist attractions was raised, only to be taken seriously by the rest of the councillors? Was the decision to build the thing made over a liquid lunch? I guess I will never know.

While I'm on the topic of "things that make you go ...", I need to vent a little steam regarding the place where Hubby likes to get the car serviced. The car was booked in for its service two whole weeks ago, yet when I picked up the car this afternoon I was told that the air filter and the belts were not changed because these parts were not in stock. What the!?! They had two friggin' weeks in which to order the parts to ensure that they were in stock! How useless is that! Now I have to make a special trip into the small smoke in another couple of weeks to get the car serviced yet again. Grrrr!

Anyway, today wasn't too bad despite the above frustration. I'm back to feeling a little flat again but that's probably only because I'm feeling kind of tired.

Wonderful Averageness

Today has been one of balance. My mood has been normal, neither too high nor too low. It's felt like a breath of fresh air.

My new found sense of normalcy enabled me to be quite productive throughout the day. I was able to concentrate on studying for several hours. I was able to get up and cook for both humans and dogs, not to mention clean up afterwards. I also spent some time sifting through months worth of unopened mail, throwing out what was no longer needed, setting aside that which needed to be filed away and most importantly, catching up on paying the outstanding bills.

Although I guess the above sounds so simple and should be easily achievable within a short time frame, quite often that is just not the case for me. It feels good to have achieved so much today even if it was just household chores and the like.

Photo courtesy of stock.xchng.

How Quickly Things Change

Okay, it's official. I'm a lunatic! I'm sitting here all alone laughing myself silly. Is it a full moon tonight or what?

Gawd, how quickly things change. The last few days were absolutely horrible. I was ready to completely give up. Life sucked, etc etc. Enter GBF with his plan to go to a local footy match and get completely shitfaced and bent. Footy? You mean there was a football match going on? I didn't see any of it.

Dragging my sorry self out of the house was just what the doctor ordered. I'm back, although maybe feeling just a tad silly. The main thing is there is colour again. Fancy that!

Okay. I must admit that I was somewhat under the weather this morning, but as of mid afternoon I'm a giggling maniac. Oops! Maybe I should have remembered to take my meds last night. Bugger!

Anyway, we took the camera out with us last night. I am not responsible for the first two photos. The strange man in the third photo grabbed the camera from me and started taking pics of random people. I got to admit that the results are freakin' funny.

Can anyone look more drunk than this bloke?

Warning! Excess consumption of alcohol causes strange facial contortions.

Who is this drunk man? I swear that I don't know him! ROFL!

OMG! I can't believe I have just written this post. I'm going to hit the "publish post" button before I just "ctrl alt del".

More Jumbled Thoughts

I can't concentrate on anything today. Earlier on, I logged into my online TAFE course to do a final check of the html coding in my first piece of assessment before I submitted it. Instead of just checking the code however, I made all these silly little changes which made the page display differently across IE, Netscape and Firefox. IE was the problem of course. I ended up not saving my changes and logging off because I was confusing myself.

After a short while I decided to go and have a lie down and watch some TV. Thankfully I drifted off to sleep. That didn't last long however. My husky, who wanted desperately to go outside, woke me up with her whinging. Since then I have eaten (I think I tend to eat to try to ground myself when I am feeling this way) but I still can't get it together. I'm lost to myself today. Everything is surreal, yet as dark as pitch. I want to curl up into a ball and disappear forever.

Fuck it! Is it wrong to want to be in hospital when I am feeling like this? Who the hell wants to be in hospital for goodness sake? I don't even have the right to be in hospital because I am not actively suicidal or anything. I'm just tired of existing ... plain and simple. In hospital, you are allowed to curl up into a ball. You don't have to think of others. Food is delivered to your room on a regular basis. The only annoying thing is that too many people come into your room for a variety of reasons when all you want is to be left alone to drift into the nothingness.

How I want to take some of those little yellow pills at the moment. I want unconsciousness. I want to sleep for the longest time possible. How about never waking up? Sounds great! Unfortunately I can't. Hubby needs a fresh ironed uniform shirt for his night shift tonight. He needs his crib. I therefore have to get up and prepare these things.

Please, can I escape into that nothingness forever?

Bleh!

I'm not with it at all tonight. I'm typing through a murky fog. Nothing appears to be in focus but its not because I've taken out my contact lens. It was like this before I took out "my eyesight". I feel sluggish. I'm moving around, doing my end-of-night chores (i.e. feeding the furries, taking them out for their last wee walk for the evening, making myself a cup of tea) but I don't know ... it's just not right. I feel like I have retreated into my body and my movements are incidental, automatic.

Why this way? I picked up my weapon of choice tonight. As per the norm, no real damage has been done, except to make myself check out like I have. In a way, I wanted this to happen. I wanted not to be here. The dark thoughts have returned and have been swirling through my head. I needed an escape. It never works out that way though.

I hate this.

The Day That Was

Where to begin? This was yesterday:

• Tunnel vision
• A voice from afar saying ... something
  
• My focused finger
• Nothing else
• Where have I gone?
• Darkness within
• Emptiness
  
• Wanting to fight to break out of it
• Wanting to lose myself within it, to allow myself to be totally consumed
  
• Losing myself is winning
  
• Confliction
• Hearing my voice, yet its not me talking
  
• A ringing phone
• I'm back (mostly)

It's not the first time it has happened of course, but there it is ... dissociation a la me.

Yesterday wasn't promising from the start. I wasn't really with it from the time I awoke. The drive didn't help. I perhaps shouldn't have listened to the CD that I chose to play (Linkin Park's Meteora). By the time I drove into the semi big smoke, my surroundings were becoming surreal. Focusing was difficult. And then my appointment began and I was gone.

My pdoc wondered if it was because of something he said, i.e. something about my life being ... umm ... not conducive to happiness. I'm not sure exactly how he termed it. Maybe? I remember feeling like I wanted to cry at the beginning of the appointment, but that feeling was just a stirring deep inside of me. Crying is all but impossible for me these days. The last time I cried was towards the end of last year. It was related to me working at the school and was out of complete frustration and anger. It came out of the blue because it had been ages since I had shed a tear.

So that was a snapshot of yesterday. As for today, I slept through most of it, only waking up after 3:00pm. I'm still not entirely with it. I'm experiencing what I think I will term a dissociation hangover.

Life Is ...

Life is looking up to find only a mass of confusion ...

... and then retreating into oneself again.

Freakin' Funny!

OMG! This is so much fun! I found this over on Mizeeyore's blog and thought I would have a go at it too.

Ten Top Trivia Tips about Disso!

1. Influenza got its name because people believed the disease was caused by the evil "influence" of Disso.
2. Half a cup of Disso contains only seventeen calories!
3. A cluster of bananas is called a hand and consists of 10 to 20 bananas, which are individually known as Disso.
4. The Church of Scientology was founded in 1953, at Washington D.C., by Disso!
5. Tradition allows women to propose to Disso only during leap years!
6. Disso has only one weakness - the colour yellow.
7. Disso can squeeze her entire body through a hole the size of her beak!
8. The fingerprints of Disso are virtually indistinguishable from those of humans, so much so that they could be confused at a crime scene.
9. Disso is the only king without a moustache on the standard pack of cards.
10. Disso has enough fat to produce 32 bars of soap.

I am interested in - do tell me aboutherhimitthem

ROFL! Go me!

1. I always thought I was the devil's spawn. Now I have my proof. Mwuahahahaha!
2. Ummm ... put me through a blender and pour me into a measuring cup. Ewwww!
3. Well, I am crazy so I guess that makes me bananas too.
4. Again! Mwuahahahahahaha! Scientologists kneel down before me.
   
5. Oh damn! I'm already married. What a waste! Joey, what ya doing next leap year? LOL
   
6. Yellow? Yuck! I definitely don't have a weakness for yellow objects. Ewww!
7. That's just funny. LOL
8. Eek! I'm subhuman?
9. Moustache? Not with my new e-pen thankyou! It's better than waxing!
   
10. Scarily true!
    

Tuesday's Dead

Tuesday's almost dead and buried thank goodness. It wasn't such a bad day though. I kept myself busy completing some course work for my TAFE certificate. I can now say that I have manually coded my first simple webpage. Yay me! Who would have imagined that one could manually code HTML! I thought that's what programs like Dreamweaver and GoLive were for. *smiles*

Despite my interest in doing this TAFE course, I have been feeling really flat these past few days. I don't know. Maybe I should have forced myself to get out of the house or something. I've been feeling incredibly anti-social though. I've been wanting to pick up the phone to chat to a couple of friends, one of which I have just reestablished contact with, but picking up the phone can be outrageously difficult sometimes. It's silly.

At the very least I will be forced to leave the house tomorrow. I'm off to the semi big smoke for my usual pdoc appointment. No doubt I will take my camera with me. I made sure that the battery was fully charged yesterday.

What's Wrong Here?

It's a dog's life!

Since I found out that one of my furry kids isn't feeling too well and that she needs to be on a bland diet for a while, it's been a veritable doggy restaurant around here. Chicken has featured on the menu, apparently being the number one choice for easy-on-the-tummy doggy diets. Tonight's succulent choice is ground chicken and pumpkin patties served on a bed of steamed rice. Yep, I'm not kidding. The furries are being spoilt rotten!

On the flip side are the meals that the humans of the house have been subjected to over the past few days. I use the term "meals" loosely too. Hubby and my meals have consisted of pre-packaged frozen pies and fish and chips. Umm ... yum? Last night's "meal" was either starve to death or drink copious amounts of coffee in order to not feel hungry. Good grief! What have I been thinking? I need a real meal!

*Rummages around freezer searching for something for the humans to eat*

Changes

It's official! I'm a student once again! Last Wednesday I enrolled in a Certificate IV in Website Design (online) through TAFE and today I started the course work. I know it's only a certificate level course, but I wanted to choose something I was interested in and that wouldn't stress me out to the max. Hopefully this Certificate IV in Website Design will fit the bill. At the very least, the course will finally demystify cascading style sheets for me. Those things have kept me baffled for years.

As a result of this morning's study, I decided to finally start updating one of my websites. I haven't touched it in at least a year, so it is high time I paid some attention to it. I'm keeping the design incredibly basic (let's face it, basic is all I know how to do anyway), but hopefully it doesn't present as too dull and boring. I will be adding extra pages and images to it over the next few days or so.

Mmmm! That's about all I have to write about tonight really. It's been an average sort of a day. Apart from spending copious amounts of time on the Internet, I threw a couple of loads through the washing machine, cooked up some dinner for the dogs, loaded up the dishwasher and that's about it. Average, average, average!

Finally! The Week is Drawing to a Close

I am glad that this week is coming to an end. Although in reality it probably wasn’t, this week certainly feels like it was incredibly full-on. With Kara being ill, multiple trips over to the small smoke to visit the vet, my trip into the semi big smoke on Wednesday and my photography expeditions, I feel completely knackered. I need a bloody good sleep but I haven’t even bothered to take my meds yet tonight. Considering my meds help with the whole falling asleep thing, I guess I’m going to be having another late night with no chance of a sleep-in tomorrow and be whinging about feeling worn out again. The things we do to ourselves, hey.

Since I am on the topic of doing things that aren’t particularly helpful to one’s wellbeing, why oh why do I continue to visit the local shopping centre on Saturdays? I know that crowds in shopping centres have the tendency to freak me out, yet I still do stupid things like wait to the very last minute to fill a prescription and thus force myself to venture into the shopping centre when it is at its busiest.

Obviously today was no exception. I started to feel uncomfortable the second I walked through the shopping centre’s entrance. By the time I entered the pharmacy only to be confronted with seemingly scores of people just milling around aimlessly, I was ready to flee. And flee I did! I couldn’t hang around in the shopping centre waiting for my script to be filled. It was just too much. Instead I went to the less busy by far newsagency at the top of town (as opposed to the one in the shopping centre), quickly browsed through the magazines and walked out empty handed. How ridiculous! If laboratory rats and pigeons can learn to avoid negative stimulation, why the hell can’t I? It would appear that laboratory animals have a far greater intelligence than I do. *sigh*

Perhaps the most unfortunate thing about this morning’s experience is that it reminded me that something isn’t quite right. Once upon a time I used to love going to shopping centres just to browse around the stores. Now it fills me with a rather pronounced undercurrent of anxiety and discomfort. I guess I had been lulled into a false sense of normalcy over the past couple of weeks given my relatively good mood. The sharp reminder that things are not okay was a bitter pill to swallow.

It’s funny how life turns out. Surely at some stage during my life I harboured dreams of a happy, meaningful and contented future. It was never meant to be.

What Makes Your Mate Mad?

What is it about your star sign that drives your partner totally crazy?

I lifted this information from the February 8, 2006 issue of the "That's Life" magazine. I definitely had a giggle when I read both mine and Hubby's signs. It's just so true!

Libra (me): Your inability to make a firm decision (about anything) can be irritating, as is your over-concern with appearances and your laziness around the home.

Cancer (Hubby): It has to be the way you blow things out of all proportion, your hoarding of all those unnecessary items and your tendency to emotionally suffocate.

Well okay, maybe it's not 100% accurate. I'm not overly concerned with my appearance at all, or for that matter what other people think of me. If I was I wouldn't so freakin' overweight at the moment (Grrr!). As for being lazy around the home, that's a humungous yes. The place looks like it's been ransacked. Oh, and I can't make a decision to save myself. *smiles*

Now on to Cancer! Hubby is most definitely a hoarder. Of the five cars we have sitting out the front of our house, four of them don't work! Yeah yeah, I know. In the immortal words of Jeff Foxworthy, "You might be a redneck if ... !" And I won't even mention (oops, looks like I'm about to) the amount of crap we have sitting inside the house. The man has kept clothes from the 1970's for goodness sake. Talk about your bad feng shui!

Aren't relationships bliss!

Ummm ... Thinking Too Much?

Where to start? I guess I'm feeling a little thoughtful tonight. I don't know how to explain it really, which seems to be so like me. Maybe retrospective? I'm not sure. I'm not really focused on the past per se. My mind is just quiet, yet in some way full of thought.

I went for my usual trip into the semi big smoke today, for my usual appointment with my pdoc. It turned out that last week's appointment was cut short because the pdoc was ill. Silly bugger! Doctors seem to work too hard. I understand that for a psychiatrist maybe the world does stop for some patients if s/he isn't able to see them, but surely there comes a time when you have to look after yourself first. If you are sick, you are sick.

Anyway, that aside, today's appointment was more fruitful than last week's. Why? I guess the pdoc and I actually engaged in some form of discussion. The whole memory thing was once again a major theme throughout the appointment. The pdoc brought up one particular memory that we had apparently discussed a couple of times prior to today, that being the one when, as a child, I sat on the back steps with my pet dog listening to my mother getting stuck into my brother for some reason. I recall that that particular memory was one of the ones I listed in my "100 childhood memories" posts, but as for it being a topic of discussion prior to its inclusion in that list, I am not entirely certain. Perhaps. The pdoc pointed out that the first time this particular memory was discussed, I reacted somewhat negatively, yet on subsequent occasions I had somehow distanced myself from it. Aren't I good! *insert bemused smile here*

I don't know. It's kind of frustrating. It would appear that I distance myself from emotions and feelings regarding events that I should have some sort of emotional connection to. However, I don't understand the what's, the where's and the why's regarding this phenomenon. Apparently it's not the norm, yet it's just the way it is for me. At one stage, I used to view myself as an emotional person, but somewhere along the line I lost that.

I may sound like a broken record when it comes to what I am about to write because I have said something similar time and time again, but I am mystified when it comes to therapy. After all this time I still don't understand what the ultimate goal is. Is it that one day I will miraculously wake up and ... what? Everything somehow fall into place? Feel again? Reach a level of happiness that makes life worthwhile? Actually give a shit? Suddenly go, "Oh that all makes sense ... now I know why I am why I am." Ugh! I don't know! Having a life worth living seems only to be connected to the ability to not think about things. If you think, you are stuffed. It's better to be distant. It's better not to care. Ultimately though, I do not want a life like that. It's not real. I'm sick of not being real. It's the only way I can successfully survive though. Bugger!

Gawd, this whole post is a perfect example of why it is bad to think about stuff. Thinking makes you doubt yourself and write copious amounts of shit.

Just a Thought

Life for Rent
Dido

I haven't really ever found a place that I call home
I never stick around quite long enough to make it
I apologise that once again I'm not in love
But it's not as if I mind that your heart ain't exactly breaking
It's just a thought, only a thought

But if my life is for rent and I don't learn to buy
Well I deserve nothing more than I get
Cos nothing I have is truly mine

I've always thought that I would love to live by the sea
To travel the world alone and live my live more simply
I have no idea what's happened to that dream
Cos there's really nothing left here to stop me
It's just a thought, only a thought

But if my life is for rent and I don't learn to buy
Well I deserve nothing more than I get
Cos nothing I have is truly mine

While my heart is a shield and I won't let it down
While I am so afraid to fail so I won't even try
Well how can I say I'm alive

But if my life is for rent and I don't learn to buy
Well I deserve nothing more than I get
Cos nothing I have is truly mine

Nothing I have is truly mine ...

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